Written by: Dwayne Collins
I was never able to achieve the goals I had in life. I remember how, when I was deceived and lied to, things were all white. I didn’t even hear Black Music until I was able to hear it on the radio for the first time. Although I was taught about Paul Laurence Dunbar and Daniel Hale Williams from the grammar schools I attended and the neighborhood high school in my area. I never was too much interested in talk about the lives of Frederick Douglass, Ida B. Wells, and Jean Baptiste Point DuSable. Although there were pictures of all the famous Black Leaders of history in both of the grammar schools I attended, those pictures were removed when I attended high school.
I remember the books tom, dick, jane and spot as an educational tool. The cat in the hat and all of the white literature I was given to memorize as american history. Then when I went home, when I watched the news, I was reminded about the struggles that I would have in life as I grew up being a part of an unrecognized people of color. I saw the slaughters of the TRUE Native Americans and the African Slaves brought over to build a civilization from the intelligence of their ancestors who were the first civilization known to mankind.
As I watched minorities rise up in status, I also looked on as selfishness began to take over the minds of the people. For some reason I grew up where I accepted living without the finer things in life. In the projects, it seemed that we all had a thing called being happy for what you got syndrome. Like all children I wanted to wear nice clothes but they were hand me downs. I wanted to ride in cars, buses and trains but had to walk most of the times. And the more I watched tv, the more I wanted to be like white people. As a matter of fact, I remember even saying that I wanted to be white.
I didn’t grow up in the church but I was gaining knowledge as a baptist, catholic, Yehuda, Muslim and sought knowledge in various other denominations of religion. I didn’t have a father or an older brother, so I got knowledge from my two sisters both older than I was. My oldest sister took me through the history of being Black through the men she dated and my younger older sister gave me street knowledge from her experiences. From the men they brought in front of me, I learned how to imitate the actions I thought were manly but my greatest education was when I watched the news and saw how Black People were being treated and how it transposed into the neighborhood I lived in.
I wanted to be a Black Panther or in any neighborhood gang. To me they were strong, coordinated and the strongest part of being a Real Man. I watched them and hung around the toughest of them growing up, wanting to desperately be a part of what they were. But I didn’t know that I was already chosen to be part of something much greater than the gang relations and bigger than religion. I had been chosen to be a TRUE CHILD OF GOD, a writer of TRUTH. My brain was being exposed to cultures that would expand my knowledge about creation and life according to a deeply instilled Wisdom from ALMIGHTY GOD, YAHWEH.
To find your purpose in life is hard to do if you are always trying to please a people that are unpleasable. The best of jobs you qualify for are impossible to get, if you have to depend on the interviewer to be considered for the job. You may live your life in poverty if it takes someone to give you an opportunity to be wealthy. Your purpose in life is instilled within you and you only need to try your best to do better. Seek TRUTH.
One struggle after another is presented to you as you constantly grow mentally. Trying to be better, I done my best but never became an athlete. I never became an entertainer, although I done my best to sing and I sang good. I learned to do jobs from janitor to mechanic, from a teacher of daycare to customer service representative but I have never elevated to the goals I set trying my best to be the better employee.
I am not trying to discourage anyone or encourage anyone to believe in failure. I am saying to anyone who has a thought of being a failure that you can’t be a failure if you tried your best to be better. You must remember that if our destinies were controlled by us doing our best, all of us would be successful in reaching our goals in life. But since our destinies are controlled by others giving us an opportunity to reach our goals in life, there is no way for all of us to be a success.
Because we are without LOVE and without TRUTH, we place negatives in the way of the success of our Brothers and Sisters. Finances, education, skills, experiences are just like jealousy, envy and lies made up to keep you from thinking you’re good enough, when in TRUTH you are probably better than the person keeping you from reaching your goal.
You must place in your mind and never allow anyone to remove from you the TRUTH that when you were born into the world, you were as great as your Brothers and Sisters born into the world. Our minds are capable to achieve all things and even more once given instructions on how to do it. In TRUTH, we must all know that we came into the world with the same thing we’ll leave with. A Spirit, a Soul to choose our destiny after we die. And as long as we have done our best to be better, it don’t matter if we are rich or poor, a millionaire or homeless. Live life and never let anyone take your joy.